this is funny

'last night, it was so cold, the flashers in new york were only describing themselves' - johnny carson.

link, thanks to srt.

you may have heard this one:

'Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?" '

better engineers than snake charmers?

an online poll conducted by newsweek (international edition) has thrown up some interesting results (until now)..33% of readers, asked 'which country will have the best engineers in ten years?', voted for india ! other countries on the list, ranking second, third and so on.. were - china, u.s.a., germany..

what's happening? has india finally managed to lose its no.1 position as the nation with the best snake charmers?

rebel

'While what you desire is
propitious to one and all
What do I care whoever is
The god you swear by?'

- kaloji, who never belonged to any group, but would join every passing crowd that asked questions..sad, the website dedicated to him doesn't record the fact that he passed away a few years ago.

meet the birthday boy

'you can meet him at any of his offices all over the country. he is the the man with the unctuous smile and the outstretched hand. if he's not in, you might run into him at any street corner, dressed in a uniform, waving a lathi or a gun or, once again, an outstretched hand. or if you're lucky he might call on you at your home or your workplace. that'd be the hectoring stranger with a lathi or a gun or an outstretched hand. he might be waving a bill, a notice, a warrant, an order or none of the aforementioned.

you should start worrying when it's none of the aforementioned.'

i'd written that a year ago. have things changed? or is he, the indian state, still like this :

'you'd be well advised to meet him on his own ground. say, on the piece of his land that you've occupied. he is a tough negotiator: if you don't like any of his rules, break them in his full view so that he'd respect you more. he doesn't like dishonesty and crookedness. if you plan to steal from him, tell him beforehand so that he'd know when to look the other way. he is obsessed with quality. if you build a bridge for him, and it's washed away, say, after five years, he'd expect you to build another of the same quality. he likes risktakers- if you succeed in duping him to the tune of a major fortune, he'd provide you with top class security at his own cost. the courts are his favorite playground. he'd like all his vendors to play a game or two of 'dispute' with him every once in a while.'

al qaeda

what's al qaeda?

you know you're a part of it when america tells you, you are.

so what do i do when i am a part of al qaeda?

you blow yourself up. and some others along with you.

so how would you know i blew myself up ..and it wasn't someone else who blew me and others up?

because america knows others aren't part of al qaeda.

so okay.. i'm a part of al qaeda..so how would you know i blew myself and some others up ?

because al qaeda blows others up.

saddam hussain didn't blow himself up..?

he hid in a hole.

so?

al qaeda hides in holes and caves.

i've never hidden in a hole..and have never been near a cave.

you're a sleeper - you hide among people.

and do what?

do what everyone else does.. until it's time to blow yourself up.

how would i know when ..to blow myself up?

america would issue a travel advisory on that - telling its people not to go anywhere near you because you're going to blow yourself up.

how would america know when to issue a travel advisory?

it has allies who know when you're going to blow yourself up.

how do the allies know when i am going to blow myself up?

because they know when america should issue a travel advisory.

and what if i refuse to blow myself up?

the allies would be angry because they wouldn't be able to tell america when you're going to blow yourself up.

so?

they're going to hold you under house arrest until you agree to blow yourself up.

and what if i still refuse ?

america would be very angry because it wouldn't want its citizens to think it's so weak it can't issue even travel advisories..

and ?

the american president will warn you - you're with us or against us.

on the brittle backs of children..

what'd happen if children really stopped working in indian homes? india would finally reach adulthood.